By Luke Cheek
Here at Lustralboy, we've been followers, if not mega-fans, for a few series of X-Factor. Are we alone in feeling that the current series has lost the plot? We guess we're far from alone. Here's our list of reasons why.
It's now down to the final 6 since the recent departure of heroin-enjoying non-singer, Frankie, mundane boy band, wisely labelled "The Risk (not worth taking) and embarassing Tiny Tim emulator, Johnny. And the remainder consist mainly of talentless, charisma-free no-hopers, with just three exceptions. Janet is memorable (but her once charming vulnerability has become hopelessly predictable), Misha B has the voice and presence (but doesn't do likeable) and Marcus has an okay voice and a likeability that should see him through for a while yet (but lacks the star quality to translate into international success).
Okay, Gary passes the occasional sensible remark and Kelly seems genuinely to care for her little team. But the thinly-disguised loathing between the judges clearly goes much deeper than a publicity ploy. Tulisa's attack on Mischa B's bullying scaled new heights of disharmony and the recent hysterical fracas between Louis and the rest over Frankie was cringe-making. The tabloids might still want to put it on their front pages, but more of this will have viewers switching to other channels. Any other channels.
Are we the only household that records the show for playback so we can eliminate 1. the ads, 2. the simpering introductions of people we aready know all too well and 3. the pathetically repetitive responses of contestants for whom this is always "the biggest day of my life", "a journey I'll never forget" and "something I want so much....." shortly followed by a tear rolling strategically down a cheek?
Yes, we loved it once, yes, we liked some of the contestants, yes, we have bought One Direction, Leona, Alexandra and JLS. And no, even the return of Simon Cowell now couldn't rescue it.
Bye bye used to be the hardest word. It's getting easier by the day.
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