The electronic blue book of mysterious obscurity.
It was always known as ‘the little black book’ – a book containing numbers more vital, to some, than their own bank code or security code... These numbers meant a “warm bed”; a “friend” to talk to or (calling a spade a spade): even a good fuck, if necessary.
Let’s be honest here; without flaws most of the world’s greatest inventions or discoveries would have been no less than a failed attempt. Facebook, originally founded for the purpose of getting in touch with those who live far away; to communicate and share with them the basics of what they are missing; capturing your daily activities in short status updates; followed with the upload of a picture... Skype, a quick and very affordable way of video calling those who you miss or seeing that which Facebook can only offer in pictures... RAW material...
Yes, Facebook was a great invention and like all great finds it had its flaws from the start. Naturally, people (just like most animals) are very queerious creatures. What starts as harmless snooping around on a friend’s profile, claiming to find a relative or a lost friend, quickly turns into a search for... Mmm... Simple rhetoric.
So it started the world’s biggest and most (s)explicit dating site. People started to create fake profiles; adding photos of other people they claim to be; showing just enough to make you ‘look only once before thinking twice’ to enter their profile and shop around before you give them a “poke”.
Aah... The poke... Now between friends a poke would be a simple hello, or just a way of saying – “I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you”. But for strangers, this poke turns into so much more. A poke from one stranger to another is a basic indication of saying:
- You are very sexy (fuckable, if nothing else); I don’t mind poking you back or even inviting a random stranger who I do not know anything about; opening my life to you and will most probably never have a proper conversation with.
- OMG you are sooooo ugly! (read: not fuckable at all!); did you really expect me to poke you back with a face/body like that?”
Don’t try and deny it! We have all done this! Some of us skip a few steps and first send a private message or invite without any type of formality whatsoever. If it is for the pure purpose of the sexy picture (hoping to see more), or even just if the face in the picture seems oddly familiar (to you in your fantasy world), we still send the friend request hoping to chat to that person for some reason to get ‘better acquainted’.
Now the problem comes in as to how do the big blue Walmart rules apply to a couple, with specific reference to their relationship values and trust? Where do one’s boundaries and limits come into play, when everyday something new and different arises from a simple log on? Given that your profile is open to the global online cummunity; just as those of millions of people’s profiles are open to you... In just one click – [click] – you can view their entire cyber-biography.
To be frank, Hubby and I have had numerous discussions about this topic and have never laid down any formal rules or S.O.P.’s towards Facebook-use, as it is plain and obvious what is and what is not allowed. For instance, NO PICTURES TO BE TRADED, as there are more than enough of us on our profiles (if anyone wants to see more than what is already on display, there are clearly ulterior motives which cannot be in the best interest of our relationship).
We trust each other and have no need to spy on each other whatsoever; even though we both know each other’s passwords to Facebook, Skype and e-mail accounts. Not only do we wholly trust each other’s judgement, but we respect our relationship for what it is, and so do most of the people on our Facebook. I am not saying that we do not get poked (as per the definition above), but we simply weigh the options of what is more important:
Delilah or Venus?
Temptation or Loyalty?
Lust or True Love?
The Cheater or Prince Charming?
This how we keep our relationship strong: by just being open and honest with each other; not hiding anything, but rather we share [click] everything. The way I see it is, if I feel guilty about whatever I am doing when he is not around or isn’t looking, I know it is wrong... So I share with him what is new – from the dick pictures sent by horny hopefuls; to the private flirting messages from those who don’t respect our relationship, and ask to keep them secret.
One thing I am sure everybody has learnt, is that nothing will stay clandestine forever, because, especially in the gay community, the only thing that travels quicker than AIDS, is filthy, hardcore, raw gossip which CUMS out – one way or the other!
So KH and I decided rather to share and laugh together about these things, thus pissing off those who do not respect our wishes or morals and values, simply by being who we are. By complimenting each other daily on a status update, saying we love and miss each other even if we just saw each other a few hours ago, and always showing our support and recognition when it is due, we attempt to dispel the myth that monogamy is dead.
Yes we are human, and for that reason alone we got the capabilities to know good from evil, wrong from right, lust from love... So if you need to log on to any site where you don’t want hubby to see what you are doing or viewing, yet you know that you are not doing the right thing, realise one thing: Karma is a Bastard, and Murphy her Bitch, and there will be consequences.
Our motto is not “honesty is the best policy”, but sharing is the route to a great relationship full of fun for both filled not only with laughter but great experiences of growth for that which the world can teach us.
This has been proven time and time again, by our cyber-pals commenting on whatever we do or say; sending messages filled with gratitude and compliments for who and what we are... you get the picture. At the end of the day, we are just grateful to know that others also still value monogamy, and that we are contributing in some small way to the often crooked world of meat-market-little-black-book hopefuls, in hopefully inspiring a better future for us all. Change the stereotype, change the perception...
Mysterious obscurity cleared.
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