Have you come out yet? Partly came out to friends? Completely came out to everyone? Or still hiding yourself in a closet?
For many gay teens like you and me, the most difficult three words to say are not “I love you!” or “Do me now!”, but “I am gay!” Why is it so hard to disclose our sexual orientation? For many, it’s simply because we don’t want to be mocked or to be abandoned. And, of course, we don’t want to disappoint our family and friends. Plus different societies are at different points on the learning curve of accepting gayness. Coming out in San Francisco is a lot easier than in Hong Kong, Mumbai or even Glasgow.
So here is the first question – Must I come out?
Well, no one is going to put you in a headlock and force you to shout out “I am GAY!” If you feel good in your cosy closet, feel free to stay there. Just try to let family and friends know more about you and understand you better. I know some gay teens who keep a distance from their social circle, just because they want to hide their true selves. It’s such a waste of the love and care available from loved ones.
So if you are planning to come out, what factors should you consider? And what skills can be used to make the process easier?
Like expressing affection for somebody, the target of your coming out and its timing are also important.
More or less, you probably understand how people in your social circle feel about homosexuality. Let’s start with those who you think will find it easier to accept the real you. Then, through those guys, you might be able to affect and change other people’s viewpoint gradually. For example, if you want to come out to family, start with your siblings or cousins and try to gain their support. They may even help lobbying your parents!
So, what technical skills do you need to gain the emotional support of those around you? First, you have to know that the coming out process can’t be done in a moment. If you feel your coming-out objects are not ready, then you shouldn’t go direct. Just chat about relative topics first, like, “Do you think Ricky Martin is gay?” Through this kind of conversation, you can positively discuss sexual orientation and try to make people accustomed to the concept of gayness. And when the time feels right, TELL!
But, but, but! If you know or suspect that any of your coming out audience are homophobic, well, be wise and linger a little longer in the closet.
Here come three of the best video clips we can find that explore the same territory. Have a look and do tell us what you feel about it. and after, check out the real discussion between Stevie and his mates at lustralview.
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