Our Editor bravely goes where many have failed before and shares his answer to the perennial question: What is love?
“Love, what is this thing that we talk about without, in fact, ever knowing?
Tears, what are these things that we try to hide when, somehow, they’re always showing?”
The World that We Live In. 1999. Michael W.
What is love? Whoever can answer that question deserves a Nobel Prize.
My best friend’s definition is, “Every time the guy gave me a good shag, I thought he would be my love.” I guess that’s quite a common viewpoint, particularly amongst our young friends.
Ok, actually that’s SEX, darling! Yes, damn important, seriously wonderful when it’s good, but just a component of that complex love equation. Love is not only about sharing hot times with the one you call “boyfriend”, but also about sharing issues, crises and difficult moments as well. So, love really is not simple. Agree?
Because there are no rules, formulas, handbooks, or coaches for us to consult, therefore, I try to create some guidelines with my experience that may help to keep a relationship loving, strong and happy. Let’s share!
Before you find love:
Assuming you are seeking love and a relationship, and not everyone is, of course, here’s how we need to make up our minds. First of all, we must be clear that “Relationships aren’t only about sex”. Well, yes, “Making love” builds a relationship, but simply “Having sex” doesn’t. However thrilling the sex, acting without LOVE as a foundation is meaningless for the longterm and your soul can never be satisfied.
Then, we must recall all the bad experiences in previous relationships and make sure “not to make the same mistakes again”. Finally, “be yourself”. Do you exactly know what kind of person you are? What are you looking for? You want excitement, fun and passion or you yearn for security and certainty? Maybe you want it all. So it’s smart to recognize the real you first. Then, stay true to your character.
When you find someone:
You never know when Cupid will shoot you and the special someone. But when the time comes, you had better be prepared.
“Be honest.” This is a key element for maintaining a happy relationship. Always remember, lies can turn everything bad.
“Trust” is another key factor for building a strong relationship. Suspicion is exhausting, both for the one who feels it and the one who is on the receiving end of it!
“Be the one who says sorry first.” When there is a problem in a relationship, it’s usually a 2 ways mistake. If he treats you bad, maybe that’s his reaction to what you have done! So, don’t be afraid to say sorry first. It’s harmless.
“Recognise that he’s not you.” An issue that may be huge to you may be small to him. Don’t overreact. You love him because he’s different from you, not the same. Learn to cherish the difference.
“Keep it fresh.”Yes, that’s a challenge, but be imaginative in your everyday moments, surprise him with a trip out, a spontaneous treat, take the initiative and get passionate when he doesn’t expect it.
“Keep your promises.”If you promise to do something, however big or small, easy or difficult, see it through. Your’re building the foundations of a long and happy future. If you’re forced to change a plan, be open about the reasons. That’s all your partner can reasonably ask.
Last but not least, “Be honourable” – There is no perfect man and you have to accept your other half has some defects. However, you can feel if this guy truly loves you or not. If he does, then you should be grateful for every little thing he does for you - A simple meal, a little gift, or a funny joke. Never take them for granted.
What you have read are just some of my experiences. They may not suit everybody, so you will do better to observe and learn from your own situation, then create your own operating manual of LOVE.
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