" I’m queer and to anyone who takes pity or offence, I say: Judge yourself ... This is where I live... I was born this way!”
We live in a multi-coloured world, filled with diversity; split not necessarily by skin colour, ethnicity or gender, but too often by the religious views of those who refuse to take the scenic route. Instead they follow their daily “tunnel-visioned” route of closet-filled depression and heterosexuality.
We don’t care from which family or background you come from; to us, we all unite under the rainbow flag, for we accept everyone – not necessarily because we like you, but because we set our differences aside as we are trying to fight for the same causes of equal rights and preferences.
Those who don’t or can’t join us, behave like well-trained circus animals, walking and acting like we were taught; getting disciplined when acting on our own behalf or when “stepping out of line”, because our “Family” feels that we are not only disrespecting them but disgracing them too. Then it’s time to say: “I may be gay, but I am still your son!”
So when does Fault shift to Blame and the Bible saying of Ephesians 6 comes into play? It reads: “Honour your father and mother, that it may go well with you and that you may live long. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” So we say to parents: even if you don’t like your children’s decisions, you need to respect and support them, even if you do not like them. You may have authority above them (up to a point) but you still need to be fair and kind.
“Not now! Go play with your brother/ sister!” Ever heard that before? Picture this perfect setting: two siblings bonding without irritating their parents, playing in their room. Both of them lying down on their bedroom carpet reading a “heterosexual story book fairy tale” or building a puzzle... Aaaw... How nice...
This scenario is possible, but highly unlikely, because when children play together there will usually be a fight. The sister is prevented from playing with her brother’s toy toolbox or cars (thus the bull dyke or tomboy is created); or the sister does not want her brother to play with her dolls: “You have your own action figures!” (thus the queen is born).
Brothers and sisters or nieces and nephews are put together to play when they are young to keep them out of their parents hair. Then all is still fine. But as time progresses and our aging commences, it is no longer “acceptable” for boys and girls to play together... So how can this be fair to a boy or a girl to tell them: “You are now a big boy/ girl. You no longer play with the other sex!” Confusion much?...
So to sum it up, when parents want time off from their young, the children are commanded to interact. But as soon as they are older they now need to follow a different road – “Stop crying you are not a girl!”... “Boys do not cry!”... Hold on... WAKE UP CALL!
Toddlers, boys, teenagers, adolescents and men cry – we call this human emotion! But… “Men do not cry”. Real men do cry, because this is a clear indication whether you will have a heart and feelings, or you will suppress your sadness and turn it into a hateful violence. How often do we hear of a father beating a child or a mother as he has learnt not to show caring emotions? Or we read of a woman abusing her husband, raised by feminists telling her never to be weak or inferior to a man, but always to dominate him...
We need to find a point of equilibrium when raising our children to make sure there is a clear understanding of how to deal with emotions and where the line should be drawn when you put both sexes together when playing. If this is not done, you have no right to judge your children and disown them when they then decide to behave in a certain manner or step out of line. The truth is that you failed to play your full part in raising your children.
So to all the fathers: when you want to sit on your fat ass and watch rugby the whole day or go visit friends for a braai (barbeque), don’t leave your boy at home or tell your wife to take him with her to the mall; take your son with you and bond without the beer! Believe me, the drunk straight man is no pretty sight, even if you look like a Hollywood Super-Dad. Ever thought what the outcome would have been if you had bonded more with your son? Don’t you think you might have understood him better?
And to those mothers out there: don’t just leave your daughter at your parents’ place when you want to go shopping with the girls. Take her with you; I’m sure she will enjoy the quality time with you; and maybe the cat fights would be less if you are present in her life and she feels she can talk to you about those subjects where she needs help or advice. Maybe... maybe by bonding closely with one’s children, one can find the path to understanding one another in fairness; comprehending the decisions they (one’s children) make; not only preferences, but lifestyle choices.
So: We need to speak up for those who cannot speak or are silenced. We need to stand up to those who are busy labelling us – not by our clothing preferences but through our sexuality “choices”. We do not simply turn gay overnight by listening to a specific artist or wearing specific clothes or even because of a specific encounter with someone of the same gender! No! We are born this way! We grow up with our childhood dreams of becoming superstars in Hollywood because our parent tell us we can do anything we believe in, until we, in their opinion, disrespect & disgrace them.
As Lady Gaga sang: “You are beautiful in your way. God makes no mistakes so be true to yourself.” Don’t be a copy-cat in a herd of sheep. Be pink. Be flamboyant. Be what you were born to be!
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